Motherhood is often a difficult balancing act.
On the one hand, we want to be able to provide our children with the best of everything: love and attention, security and stability.
On the other hand, sometimes this means putting ourselves last – something which can lead to feelings of guilt and frustration. This is known as ‘mummy guilt’ – when mothers feel guilty for taking time for themselves or making decisions that will benefit them rather than their families.
But here’s the truth: it’s not selfish to put yourself first!
In fact, learning how to prioritize your own needs can actually help you become a better mother (not to mention partner, friend and employee).
So in this blog post, we’ll look at why it’s important for women – especially mothers – to learn how to place themselves before others without feeling guilty about it.
How Do Mums Become Like This?
As mothers, we’re often told that our first priority needs to be our children. Society reinforces this idea by telling us that ‘good’ mothers are always putting their kids before themselves – and if we don’t, then we’re not being ‘good enough.’
This can lead to a sense of guilt whenever we think about taking time for ourselves, even though it’s important that we do.
Why Is Putting Yourself First So Important?
Before I continue on, let me clear up a big fat myth… putting yourself first doesn’t mean you don’t care about your children or family – in fact, it’s quite the opposite!
By prioritizing your own needs and having healthy boundaries in terms of how much you give to others, you can actually become a better mother (or father) and partner. Learning to place yourself before others helps you create balance in all aspects of life, meaning everyone will benefit as a result.
To paint the picture, imagine the following scenarios:
Scenario 1: You’re a tired and overworked mother, who is constantly putting everyone else’s needs before her own. Eventually, you become so stressed and exhausted that you’re unable to focus on anything else. Your partner and start to feel neglected and your relationships suffer.
Scenario 2: You’re a healthy and well-balanced mother, who cares for her own needs just as much as she does others. This means you have more energy to give to your family and friends, while also having enough time for yourself! Everyone in your life is happier and more fulfilled as a result.
Which scenario would you rather be in? I hope the answer is obvious…
So How Can Mums Start Putting Themselves First?
Putting yourself before others can feel quite unnatural at first – especially if it’s something that you’ve never done before, and especially if it’s something you’ve previously believed to be wrong.
If that’s you, here are some quick tips to help you get started:
- Make time for yourself. Schedule time in your day for activities that are just for you – whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk or taking an online course.
- Say ‘no’ more often. Don’t be afraid to say no if something won’t benefit you or your family.
- Set boundaries. Make sure to let your family and friends know what you’re comfortable with in terms of how much of yourself you’re willing to give them.
- Prioritize sleep. You need enough rest for your body and mind – so make sure to get plenty of it!
There Is No One-Size-Fits-All Approach
It’s important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach – and your own needs might be different to someone else’s.
Some mums might find that taking up yoga helps them become more balanced, while others might prefer to go for a run or spend time with friends. Whatever works best for you and your family is the approach you should take!
At the end of the day, it’s essential that women learn how to put themselves first without feeling guilty about it. It might take some time and practice, but I promise you it will be worth it in the end. Your relationships with your family and friends will become healthier and more balanced, allowing everyone to benefit from your newfound sense of balance. So go on – give yourself permission to take care of number one for a change!
To your self-care,
Jen
P.S. If you’d like some help with setting boundaries and learning how to prioritize your own needs, why not book a complimentary 45-minute session with me? During this call, I’ll help you identify what’s really important to you and how to make it happen. All the details are listed here – if this resonates with you, let’s chat soon!